Recently, I chatted with some young—early to mid-twenties—friends about the challenges they face in relationships. These particular friends are indeed interested in marriage, creating families, and having successful careers. As we talked honestly about the up-to-the-minute trends weighing down on life and their relationships, it occurred to me that youth in our society are in a hazardous position when it comes to marriage preparation.

Whether our parents were married or stayed married during our childhood and adolescence, we have all learned about marriage by observing those in our personal environments, communities, as well as via the media. Observation certainly yields understanding in life, but it can’t be the only way to get educated. Does anyone ever sit down with a child or adolescent and talk opening about how to prepare for this chapter in life? I do know a few parents who do this, but only a few.

On the whole, I don’t see youth being guided and groomed to think about marriage and its influence on their lives. Is it assumed that they will just figure it out? Do people believe that there isn’t really any way to prepare for how to choose a partner or how to contribute to a thriving relationship? And if the answer is “yes” to both questions, then that’s really good to know.

However you slice it, preparing young people for marriage includes having open—age appropriate—conversations including how our individual, unique, qualities can contribute to a functional relationship, as well as the ABCs of life in a household. The more we discern how crucial healthy relationships and marriages are to the functioning of our society, the more experienced adults will take young people under their wings and prepare them for their own flight.

It’s been a while since my last post…but I’m not confessing here. Life happens and it’s my job to keep up with my life.

Recently, I’ve been meeting with a local filmmaker to discuss a plan to move my documentary film project forward. Momentum for this project is building again and I’m excited about the possibilities.  Making a film certainly takes dedication, focus, and a vision. The idea of creating a clear vision for my documentary has been dominating my thoughts this past week. I admire any creative person who has a strong sense of vision and can articulate their vision with clarity and zeal.  Film and theater director Julie Taymor is one of these people. Taymor has an incredible gift—the ability to not only conceive a powerful vision for film and live theater, but to also generate, in my opinion, awe-inspired works of art.

When it comes to my artistic and creative inclinations, they have ebbed and flowed since I was young. I was highly creative as a child—via singing, dancing, acting— and then not as much as a teenager. My post-adolescent years were spent searching for an enriched sense of self; and as a result I found myself in a space with a deep desire to be creatively expressive, but I wasn’t cognizant of what that could look like. Now as more years have past, I find that my preference is to create from a place of authenticity and personal calling—not from a place influenced, necessarily, by trend or popularity.

My creative expression now reflects my personal vision for an ever-advancing civilization.  While humanity continues to struggle through its collective, cellular, past, I long to participate in and assist with its awakening—an awakening that leads ultimately to progress and maturity. My current film project is one, humble, effort in this direction. However, as my creative clarity develops, I anticipate finding new, original, personal projects that reflect my vision for progress. Meanwhile, I’m getting back to business with Searching for Marriage.

It’s not too late to acknowledge that it’s “Loving Day”. Today, June 12th, honors Mildred and Richard Loving and their U.S. Supreme Court case, which in 1967 banned all remaining anti-miscegenation laws in the U.S.

The two married in Washington, D.C. in 1958. Upon returning home to Virginia, the Lovings learned — no doubt, via a prejudiced and inequitable system — that interracial marriage in Virginia was against state law; and as a result, they were arrested. After a long, arduous, process, the Lovings found justice in 1967.

Today is a celebration of their courage and determination — love and justice conquer all. While racial prejudice is still alive in our society, there are many victories to celebrate today. Without the struggles and dedication of the Lovings and the many others before them, the freedom and respect which rightfully belongs to all, would not prevail.

Thank you to the Lovings, to my parents, and to all who have blazed trails in the name of love.

 

photo credit: natbell via Morguefile